One of the places that I’ve judged myself the most is as a mother.
I like to call myself a recovering perfectionist, as all I could think about once I had a child was getting everything ‘right’. I used to get hysterical when my first born had to drink tap water or eat food that wasn’t organic. I thought I was doing her body permanent damage! When my second child was born via cesarean instead of a the ‘perfect’ home-birth that I had planned, I launched myself into several months of depression that even my go-to tools of yoga and mediation could not bring me out from under. I couldn’t even get nursing right. After breastfeeding both of my children well past 1 year, my body was consistently 10-15 pounds below my pre-baby weight. I know – not the typical complaint of a new mother, and still, it caused me to feel undesirable, boyish, and like sex was the furthest thing from my mind!
…it was the first time that I even became aware of the judgment that I was functioning from.
Not just of myself, but of wanting to ‘fix’ everyone else or share what would be the thing that would make everything good and better and perfect for them. I was in a constant state of judging myself for not being good enough and judging everyone else for not choosing what I thought must be ‘right’. NOT FUN AT ALL!!!
When I began Katherine’s program, I thought I’d end some of the judgment towards my body (couldn’t be that much could there be?). I had no idea how it would change every area of my life.
I started to look at myself in the mirror with such gentleness and gratitude that it brought me to tears.
Here I had been judging my body, abusing it by going against its knowing, and my body was here, STILL LOVING ME. How brilliant are our bodies?
And by the end of the no judgment diet, the craziest thing happened….I got out of judgment of every area of my life.
I got out of judgment of my money flows and what business and ‘work’ supposedly mean. Which all led to me increasing my income 10 fold within the span of a few months. I got out of judgment of my husband and kids and family – which led to so much more ease and joy at home and offers for babysitting and contribution in all other areas. I got out of judgment of sex and relationship and my body has literally been in tears of gratitude for how much more pleasurable and enjoyable sex and orgasm are now – and what else is possible beyond this??
I now ask my body questions daily about what would contribute to it. I’ve used the no-judgment diet as a way to launch myself full throttle into other Access Consciousness classes and receiving them on a whole new level. I’ve chosen bodywork from Dr. Dain Heer and other brilliant Access facilitators that have shifted my whole reality. I’ve stepped up and chosen a whole lot more of me, and the change that that has created has been nothing short of magic. I honor what a massive contribution getting out of judgment has been and continues to be, and I am so grateful for all of these tools and experiences that have showed me the door to a completely different possibility.
I wonder what change you can create by choosing no-judgment for you?
Emily is a Certified Access Consciousness® Bars & Body Process Facilitator. She is also a Certified Yoga Teacher and recovering perfectionist. She has her Masters Degree in Teaching and a BA in Biological Sciences. You can read more about Emily here